CHAPTER 11

SOMETIMES I WONDER

CHAPTER 11

2 WEEKS LATER

"Another school year done." Rory sighs as she looks around the empty dorm room.

"So ready for your summer in LA?" Paris asks grinning.

"Yes."

"What are you going to do?" Paris asks "Internship? Summer program at Stanford or UCLA?"

"No... an actual summer vacation where I do nothing unless I feel like it. Something I haven't done since before Chilton."

"Sounds boring." Paris states "All that inactivity."

Rory smiles seeing Sark walk into the dorm, "Oh something tells me things won't be boring."

Paris groans seeing the two staring at each other, "At least you two will be away from me when you make out."

"PARIS" Rory laughs

"Was that the last box?" Sark inquires

Rory nods

"Well have fun this summer. Email me. Call me." Paris says rushed.

"I will." Rory promises as they hug.

"ACE" Logan bounds into the room sweeping Rory up in a hug.

Rory laughs "Logan put me down"

"Oh sorry man." Logan grins at Sark.

"Hug her all you want... try anything else and I'll remove body parts." Sark smiles charmingly at Rory knowing if he takes the edge off the threat she won't get mad at him.

"Fair warning. If I had Ace I'd threaten all men." Logan grins

"So Logan what are you up too this summer?" Paris asks

"Guys want to hit the Bahamas for a few weeks. After that" Logan shrugs "not sure. Maybe come visit my favorite future reporter." He looks at Sark, "If you have no problem with it man."

"Rory's choice." Sark shrugs

"Rory" Finn says happily as he also picks Rory up swinging her around. "Sorry mate" He apologizes to Sark. "Just adore Ace."

"Who doesn't" Logan grins

"Where's Colin?"

"Trying to get the phone number of the girl across the hall." Finn answers. "She's shooting him down... but you know Colin."

"Ugh I am out of this freak event." Paris huffs "Call me Rory."

"I will." Rory promises as her friend walks out of the room.

"What's with Paris?" Finn asks

"Paris is Paris." Rory shrugs

"So what are we going to do without our Ace?" Finn questions with a whine. "What are us poor out of control rich boys going to do?" He asks

"Yeah who is going to keep us from doing something stupid?" Logan grumbles

"Well you guys will just have to learn how to take care of yourselves and be good." Rory smiles

"But Rory you are our conscience." Finn sighs. "You keep us under control."

"I'm sure you guys will get along fine without me." Rory assures

"But without our Ace... we could get into trouble." Logan sighs

"Well boys... time to grow up."

"But we don't want too" Finn grumbles

"You guys will be fine. But I will check in and remind you that you that the world doesn't revolve around you."

"That's all we need." Finn looks at Sark, "You better take care of Ace for us."

"Oh she'll be fine." Sark pulls Rory close kissing her head.

Rory grabs Sark's arm pushing up his sleeve she looks at his watch, "We should get going. We have to get all of this done then be at Grandma and Grandpa's for dinner... or we'll get a lecture about being late."

"Ooh dinner with the Gilmore family... that's a fun night." Logan grins

"Hey be nice. You wouldn't know me if it wasn't for Grandma." Rory sticks her tongue out as she and Sark walk out of the dorm.

"Later Ace."

"Later Huntzberger. Bye Phinneaus."

"Don't call me that." Finn yells

LATER

Sark glances at Rory, "Are you alright darling?" He asks

Rory looks at him and smiles, "I'm fine. How is work?"

"More paperwork than I like. But the good side is I'm not in a cell and I still get to be in the game."

"And you like it."

Sark shrugs "I'm good at it." He reaches for her hand squeezing it. "How did your exams go?"

"Hard but I think I did alright. I'll find out in a month or so. I'm not going to stress about it. This is going to be an actual summer vacation. No stressing over school."

"Good." He kisses her hand. "How is your mother handling the fact you'll be with me?"

"Decently good. She likes you so that makes it easier for her. But she's worried I'm going to see Jess."

"Are you?"

Rory shrugs "I have no idea. Part of me wants too... at least to apologize for yelling at him the last time. But part of me says to avoid him."

"I'm glad I'm not the jealous type." Sark grins

"You definitely aren't." Rory smiles back, "And why is that?"

Sark shrugs "It is a waste of emotion. If I thought I had reason to be jealous perhaps I would be. But I'm not... and your exes don't give me any reason to be jealous." He smirks "I am the far better man."

"And such an ego you have." Rory says dryly.

"I do not have an ego. I just happen to know that despite the fact your mother doesn't know about our marriage she would approve more than she would if you were married to Bagboy... or Jess."

"And why is that?"

"Because I can give you all that you want... and deserve." Sark kisses her knuckles.

Rory smiles

"Well only until she found out what I do and did for a living." Sark muses as he pulls into the driveway of the townhouse. "So what have you figured out what you are going to tell your family about next years tuition?" Sark inquires

"No." Rory replies as they step out of the car. Opening the back passenger doors they each grab a box from the back seat. "I'll figure that out later." She sighs as they walk up to the house. Setting the box down she unlocks the front door pushing it open. "I don't know why you are insisting of paying for college. My Grandparents are fine with it. Granted I'm indebt until I'm sixty for Chilton and Yale." She muses as she kicks the front door shut following Sark into the living room.

Sark sets the box down and as Rory sets hers down he pulls her close, "You're my wife that's why." He kisses her quickly.

Rory smiles against his lips, "Thanks... keeps me and Mom from going into debt with Grandma and Grandpa. Grandpa's fine... but Grandma... she guilts Mom. Then Mom gets upset and vents... then I feel guilty for going." Rory rambles

"Well no more of that. If you had mentioned it to me before you wouldn't have had that this last school year." Sark kisses her forehead. "Now we should get the rest of the boxes inside." He kisses her once more on the lips then steps back.

The two work in silence as they bring in the boxes. "What time are we supposed to leave tomorrow?" Rory asks after they bring in the last boxes.

"I told the pilot to be ready at any time. What time would you like to leave?" Sark asks setting the last box down.

Rory nods at her suitcase and backpack in the corner, "I'm packed for whenever." At Sark's amused expression she shrugs, "I'm not a last minute packer. Never have been. I was pretty much packed for the backpacking trip a week before we left." She says sheepishly. "I ended up having to pack for Mom as well... she waited until the night before."

"Some people are like that."

"Are you?"

Sark shrugs "I am always ready to leave. I learned young that attachment to objects is useless... especially when you have to leave at any moment." He frowns thoughtfully, "Plus with my other homes I never needed to pack because I had clothes and such at those homes and in other areas as well."

"Oh." Rory sighs looking at the boxes scattered around the living room. "How is it I go to school with a certain amount of stuff and leave with more?" She wonders. "I'm not the packrat of the family."

Sark chuckles kissing her temple

Rory turns her head and smiles "Still adore me?" She asks teasingly.

"More than anything my darling."

Rory turns to face him fully her arms going around his neck. "I missed you."

"I missed you as well."

HALF HOUR LATER

Rory giggles as Sark nuzzles her neck "Julian"

Sark lifts his head smirking he's about to speak when a phone rings.

"Mine" Rory gently pushes him off her

"Ignore it."

"Its probably my Mom. She'll just keep calling until I answer." She kisses his cheek then grabs his shirt pulling it on she stands walking out of the living room to the kitchen.

Sark lies on the living room floor staring at the ceiling.

"Hi Mom. No its a good time."

"No its not a good time." Sark grumbles as he reaches for his pants, he pulls them on buttoning them as he stands he heads into the kitchen grabbing a pad of paper.

Rory looks at him curiously.

Sark shoves the pad over to her kissing her head as he walks pass her.

Rory reads the quickly scrawled note.

'No Lorelai its not a good time... my husband's making me scream in pleasure'

Rory blushes wadding up the paper she turns throwing it at Sark's head as he stands behind her at the counter pouring a glass of wine.

Sark turns his head smirking at Rory. He corks the bottle and takes a sip of the wine joining Rory at the counter to find her reply.

'You are such an ass.'

'I know.' Sark writes back.

"Yes everything is packed up. It took two trips to get it here. Yeah he's fine with it being here. Yes I know he's sweet."

'And rich.' Sark writes on the pad of paper.

Rory smiles "No he's doing some work." She picks up the pen writing back, 'And adorably cute.'

'I know.' Sark writes back then takes a sip of his wine.

"No, Paris isn’t sure what she's doing this summer. None of them are." Rory writes back, 'Ego much?'

Sark smiles as he writes his reply. 'Just honest. Besides if everyone was as honest as me the world would be so much better.'

Rory smiles at his note, "Yes we'll be at Grandma and Grandpa's. Grandma knows he's coming to dinner. I know Grandma isn’t liking the whole fact I'm spending the summer with him... alone."

'Hey I'm going to be a perfect gentleman.' Sark writes

Rory smiles "Mom he'll be on his best behavior. Besides he's going to be at work most of the time. No I won't be bored." Rory sighs. "Because I can always amuse myself... besides I'm looking forward to having a peaceful vacation."

6PM: GILMORE HOUSE

Rory smiles at her Mom as she gets out of the car.

"Mini-me."

"Mom" Rory hugs her Mom.

"Hey Julian. How's life? Sure about keeping my offspring all summer?"

"Mom I'm not going to be there all summer."

"OK most of the summer." Lorelai corrects

"Offers open for you to come out at anytime." Sark states

"Oh I might just take you up on that." Lorelai smiles "We can always go to Disneyland and make fun of the people in the costumes."

"Ooh we can make fun of the parents with screaming kids."

"No... that's just mean." Lorelai shakes her head. "But we can make fun of the people who puke after rides."

"Mom there will be none of what happened the last time we went to an amusement park." Rory warns

"So I learned my lesson. No tequila and hot dogs the night before going on rides."

"Tequila, yes. Hot dogs" Sark winces

"What don't like fast food?" Lorelai demands

"I wasn't raised on it so I never had had the taste for it." Sark shrugs as they reach the door and Emily opens it.

"Rory" Emily hugs her granddaughter.

"Hi Grandma" Rory smiles

"Julian it is good to see you."

"You as well Emily."

"Lorelai" Emily nods at her daughter as she ushers her granddaughter into the house.

"What did you do this time?" Sark asks softly.

"Hung up on her." Lorelai answers as she closes the door behind them.

"Ahh." Sark nods

"So Rory are you ready for your trip?"

"Yes Grandma. I'm packed and ready to go."

"Good." Emily nods "Now what are you planning to do?" She asks

"Relax. I'm not going to plan anything like I have done in the past. This is a complete relaxing vacation."

"Good." Emily nods "But still try to do something educational."

"I will Grandma."

8PM

Rory and Lorelai step out onto the patio, "I want you to have fun Rory."

"I will Mom."

"I know you don't want to plan anything this summer... but please be careful. And not just with being out in LA... are you two careful?"

"Mom" Rory groans, "you gave me this lecture at 14. We are."

"You just have a lot to do with your life. I just"

"Don't want it curtailed with an unplanned pregnancy."

"Well yeah."

"Its not an issue Mom. Trust me."

"Do you love him?"

Rory looks into the house where Sark is talking to her Grandparents, "Yeah I do. And he loves me too."

"I can tell." Lorelai smiles

"He's a complicated guy... I know that but he's a good guy."

"As long as you're happy."

"I am." Rory smiles at her Mom. "He may be complicated but he doesn't pull me into it and he doesn't push me away."

"Just what you need."

"Plus he puts up with the Gilmore craziness."

"Rory just keep in mind that you are 20..."

"Mom I'm a big girl whatever happens, happens."

Lorelai slings her arm across Rory's shoulders, "I like him Rory... I truly do. You seem much happier since he's shown up."

"I am." Rory smiles "He's different from Dean and Jess."

"And that's what you needed."

"Yeah. Its weird... I went from the good boy to the bad boy... to one who's nothing like Dean or Jess."

"No he isn't."

"This summer is going to be good for me."

"Yeah I think it will be too babe."

'I get to be with my husband. I don't have to hide my marriage there.' Rory rests her head against her Mom's, "I love you Mom."

"I love you too kid." Lorelai kisses Rory's head. "I'm going to miss you."

"Like Julian said you could always come out and we could go to Disneyland or something."

"We'll see."

'Please don't take him up on it. As much as I love Mom... I want my husband to myself. I want to be able to kiss him when I want. I want to be able to wear my ring when I want. I want to wake up to find him beside me. I want to go to bed with him. I want to live as a normal married couple for a few months... before I have to go back to my life of lies and avoidance.'

"Just have fun."

"I will."

HALF HOUR LATER

"Have a good time. Call and check in every so often."

"I will Grandma." Rory hugs her Grandma. "Bye." She heads over to her grandfather, "Bye Grandpa."

"Bye Rory. Have fun."

"I will."

Richard looks at Sark, "You better take care of her."

"She will be perfectly safe." Sark assures.

"She better be." Lorelai warns

"Bye Mom" Rory hugs her Mom.

"Call me tomorrow."

"I call you every day." Rory points out.

"Yeah well only child you have to call me or I worry."

Rory nods "I know."

"Have fun. Behave. Don't do anything stupid."

"Mom" Rory groans

"And you... make my daughter unhappy and I will make you miserable."

"You would have to get behind my sisters and my Father for that." Sark smirks

"Well I will if I have too."

"She'll be fine." Sark promises

"See I'll be fine."

11PM: HOUSE

Sitting on Sark's feet Rory leans back against his legs reading as he does his sit-ups.

"So dinner ended fine."

"Mmm"

"What did you and Lorelai discuss outside?" Sark asks curiously.

"The basic Mom issues..." Rory shrugs

"And they are?"

"Have fun. Relax. Be careful... oh and the 'Rory your 20... not ready for kids.'"

Sark pauses hearing the faint crack in her voice. "What did you say?" He asks sitting up.

Rory shrugs turning her head, "Not much. Pretty much changed the subject."

"Are you ever going to tell her?"

"Not for a long time. I know I should... I never have kept secrets from Mom... but I don't want to get into it with her." Rory smiles as she feels Sark's arms slip around her shoulders kissing her head.

"Worried that she would be disappointed?"

"I know she would be."

"You regret it don't you"

Rory shrugs "I don't know. I think that its a yes I regret and no I don't issue."

"How so?"

"Its... I don't know how to describe it." She takes a deep breath, "I know that it was for the best." She turns face Sark, "What about you?" At his expression she adds "And don't give me that crap about it being my body and my choice."

Sark tilts his head, "I know it hurt you and that is what hurt me." He brushes her hair behind her ear, "I don't like seeing you unhappy in anyway."

Rory pushes him onto his back and crawls on top of him tucking her head under his chin. "As much as I know we aren't ready to be parents... I do know I want to have kids."

"I know." Sark rubs her back.

"Do you?"

"Truthfully I haven't given children much thought."

"Why not?"

Sark shrugs "The women in my life before you... not the type who should be allowed to be mothers. They were either rich, spoiled, and selfish... or cruel, calculating, selfish, and murderous. Or any combination of those. Plus a few of them tried to kill me on occasion."

Rory lifts her head, "So kids were never on your mind?"

"Rory, I'm 24 and one of the most hated men in the world of spies... not something you want to bring kids into." He sighs, "Plus the kidnapping issue that would be bound to come up. At this time any child I would have or could have... could become pawns."

"So what we'll never have kids?" She demands

"Not until I stop everyone who holds a grudge against myself, Lazarey, the Derevkos, or Bristows. Hell even Nadia's past could cause trouble."

"And how long would that take?"

"I have no idea... hopefully once this current issue is dealt with... it will end. My debt to them should be paid."

"And what is that?"

"Its complicated. But one day... everything you want... you will have."

"What will you do when you are done?"

"Well Lazarey left me his companies... I was informed that the CIA is running them as fronts. Perhaps I will be able to get the companies back and run them myself... probably with CIA input of course."

"You won't be able to stop will you?"

"Stop what?"

"You like being out there... doing what you have to do..."

"There are times I do like it." Sark admits "But I also like this... and I knew I couldn't have this if I had stayed doing what I did full time."

"So what when you're done with the CIA you'll still work for them from time to time?"

"Probably." At her worried expression he strokes her cheek, "But I promise... it won't be like it is now."

"Better not be." Rory warns returning her head to his chest.

NEXT MORNING

Rory slowly opens her eyes and smiles when she sees that Sark is sitting beside her reading the newspaper, "How do I put up with a guy who can wake up early?"

"Because this one brings you coffee." Sark reaches over picking up a cup handing it to Rory.

"Thanks." Rory sits up taking the coffee she takes a sip. "How long have you been up?"

"Since dawn." Sark shrugs

Rory glances at the clock "So what have you been up to for the last four hours?"

"I watched you sleep for a while. Then I went for a run. When I got back I did some work so I wouldn’t have to listen to Sydney bitch later. When I was bored with that I went and got you your coffee and a newspaper." Sark shrugs

"Mmm" Rory yawns resting her head on his shoulder, "Anything interesting?"

"Not really."

They sit in silence Sark reading the newspaper, Rory drinking her coffee and scanning the newspaper as he reads.

"Any idea what time you would like to leave?" Sark inquires

"Too early for thinking here." Rory hushes just as her phone rings. She reaches over grabbing her phone off the nightstand, "Hi Mom." She greets after flipping the phone open. "Yes I just got up. MOTHER! That's not the reason why I am just getting up!"

Sark chuckles only to get smacked on the stomach

"So what are your plans for the day?" Rory asks her Mom.

LATE MORNING

Rory groans, "She's going to drive me nuts while I'm gone."

"Why do you say that?" Sark inquires as he moves around the kitchen making breakfast.

"Because this year she will be able to call whenever she wants."

"So just turn off your phone."

"I'm going to have too."

Sark glances at Rory as she wraps her arms around his waist, "I gave the housekeeper a short version of what foods you like. She said she would pick them up."

Rory nods

"Maria comes in on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for a couple hours. Pool cleaner, Henry, arrives on Fridays as does the groundskeeper, Greg. Of course the CIA hired them... wouldn't be surprised if they are former agents." He mutters

"OK."

"Oh and Irina and Nadia have a tendency to arrive when they want. They let themselves in. Hopefully Irina won't but Nadia might from time to time."

"Got it."

"Sydney and Jack only show up to yell at me but they usually yell at me while I'm still at work. I wouldn't count on family moments with them." He kisses Rory's head, "Plates?"

"Sure." Rory steps away grabbing the plates that she set on the counter behind her.

"Do you have everything you need?"

"I think so. If I don't" Rory shrugs "just get it there."

Sark nods "Lets eat." He takes the plates heading over to the table.

EARLY AFTERNOON: JET

"What do you think?" Sark asks as he kisses Rory's head as she rests against his chest.

"About what?" Rory asks completely relaxed.

Sark chuckles "That's my Rory"

"Sorry... completely and utterly relaxed now."

"Good."

"Do you ever take vacations?" Rory asks

"Darling, I spent two years locked up in prison... not an actual vacation I know but that's the closest I had to a nonworking vacation since I started working."

"Oh"

"If things are calm perhaps we can go away for our anniversary."

"OK"

"Nap time?"

Rory nods "I think so."

Sark stands picking Rory up. "Come on." He carries her to the back of the jet opening a door to reveal a small bedroom. He sets Rory on the bed, "There you go. Take a nap."

"Stay?"

"Of course. I'll be back in a minute." He kisses her head then walks out of the room.

Rory closes her eyes and a few minutes later she opens her eyes feeling the bed shift. "Love you." She mumbles

"I love you as well darling." Sark pulls her close and the two drift off into a light nap.

6PM: LAX AIRPORT

Sark hands the porter some cash nodding his thanks as he gets into the car. He glances at Rory as he starts the car as she talks to her Mom once again.

"Everything is fine Mom. Relax. Deep breath. Stop freaking out and worrying." She rolls her eyes at Sark just as his own phone rings.

Sark groans removing his phone he flips it open, "What?"

7PM: HOUSE

Sark watches Rory look around the downstairs of the house, "Pools out back. There's a gym in the pool house. Oh and this I think you might like." He holds his hand out to Rory.

"What is it?" Rory takes his hand and follows him down the hall off the kitchen.

Sark opens a door revealing a study lined with bookcases filled with books. "Here"

Rory looks around awed by all the books. "Wow. Now this... will keep me occupied."

"That it will." Sark watches her look around. "Organized by author and language."

"Shakespeare?"

"Full collections in English, French and Italian."

"Crime and Punishment?"

"In English and Russian."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

Sark kisses her head, "Explore. I will bring in your bags and take them upstairs."

'This is going to be fun.' Rory smiles as she looks around. 'Lots to read. Be able to spend time with my husband even if he is going to be at work or out of the country. This summer will help us figure out if this marriage is going to work out.' She walks out of the study and starts looking through the rooms stopping to look at the kitchen, 'Sookie would love this kitchen.' She makes her way through the dining room, living room, and formal sitting room.

HOUR LATER

"Finish exploring?" Sark asks as Rory pulls herself onto the counter as he cuts up the vegetables for their salad.

"Yep. Why live in such a big house?"

Sark shrugs "I'm used to space on my down time... more so after I got out."

"Makes sense." Rory grabs a carrot taking a bite.

"Oh yes I have one more surprise for you." Sark smiles setting the knife down he steps between Rory's legs and lifts her off the counter.

Surprised Rory wraps her arms and legs around him, "Julian"

"I was going to wait until tomorrow but... I can't." He grins kissing her nose as he carries her down the hall. He sets Rory on her feet, "Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Its a surprise. And surprises are supposed to be surprises. Now come on"

"Oh fine." Rory closes her eyes

Sark opens the door and turns on the light guiding Rory into the room. "Open your eyes." He says after a moment.

Rory opens her eyes to find a silver BMW. She looks at Sark

Sark holds up a set of keys, "All yours."

"But"

"No arguing this. You need a car while you are here. If it didn't bring up questions I would have replaced that car of yours."

"Hey I like that car."

"Rory its a piece of"

"Hey Grandparents gave it to me for graduation."

"Still. Its a deathtrap... this... is a perfect piece of machinery." He kisses her temple, "What do you say?"

Rory turns to face him, "You are going to spoil me aren't you?"

"Can't help it." He kisses her. "Well?"

"I love it." Rory hugs him.

Sark smiles "Good."

"Though a car wasn't necessary... I'm" she is stopped mid-sentence when he kisses her, "stop distracting me."

"Can't help it."

"Thanks"

Sark nods "Now lets go eat."

"OK" Rory follows him smiling 'Yep best summer ever.'

NEXT